GhostKing screws up Time and Space AGAIN!
by Lordoftheghostking28
Summary: Guess she didn't learn the first time...oh well. Laughs ensured. READ ON, READERS! T for randomness
1. Chapter 1

** OH YEAH WOOT EPIC CRACKFIC TIME! Enjoy and no flames!**

** T for incredibly randomness, random language, random happenings, and Cheez-Itz.**

** Chapter uno: more of the Author Laws and other crap**

** XxXxXxXx**

Lordoftheghostking28 was enjoying a perfectly normal day. At least, it was as normal as possible when an annoying hedgehog was around.

"Oh, hey, GhostKing, why is your Algebra book so big? Why is the sky blue? When's lunch? What time is it? Why are my eyes golden and not blue or green or anything normal? Wait…I like being different. GhostKing, are you listening? GhostKing? GHOSTKING! Ok, now what's the square root of 4? It's in your book here…Oh, what's this really long and complicated word? Can you slam a revolving door? Oh, yeah, and Sonic wants Blaze and me to get married. And have little mutated kids. He wants to name one Fluffy. And he wants to be the grandmother."

"It's big because it has so many stupid probablems in it. It's blue from reflecting the sea or something. You just ate lunch. Four Fifty-six PM. That's how you were born. Yes. Yes? YES? Two. Multiplicative. I've tried, no. Say WHAT? …Weird…What a horrible name. Yeah, only Sonic would want that…" GhostKing said in response to everything Silver said so far. She wasn't really even listening until the last part.

**(INTERUPTION** from The Author Laws of Crossing Species, book 14 out of twenty three:

_ Thou may cross species, as long as it's not completely stupid, like crossing thee mouse with thee elephant_.**)**

GhostKing rolled her eyes and continued birdwatching. A bluejay flew up to the birdfeeder and ate stuff. GhostKing sighed in boredom. Meanwhile, Silver was still rambling on while searching through …

"Blaze keeps saying I wouldn't be a good father. I think she's right. She also says I'm gullible. I think she's right. She also says she doesn't want to marry me. I think that's good, because she said earlier that I wasn't gonna be a good father…GhostKing, what's yaoi?"

GhostKing reached over and slammed the laptop shut, crushing Silver's fingers. He screamed loudly and ran around in circles with the laptop still attached to his hand until GhostKing practically tied him to the chair and released the demented laptop from his digits.

"You don't want to know." She said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"But it had my name in it. I think it was important."

"…Who else did it mention?" GhostKing dreaded the answer.

"Eggman." Silver said. "Why?"

GhostKing turned an epic shade of green and ran to the bathroom, throwing up her stomach and practically dying as terrible images scrolled through her mind—

**(INTERUPTION** from The Author Laws of Ratings:

_Thou shall pick a rating and rating description…and sticketh to it. It is forbidden to say it is one rating; and then changeth thee rating halfway through thee story. Not only is it scary, it can scar thee young readers._

**And there you have it**.**)**

GhostKing returned to birdwatching, occasionally running back to the bathroom. Silver sat in her computer chair, spinning around happily and completely oblivious to the horror he had been spared from. Sometimes GhostKing envied him.

The Roadrunner ran by, chased by Wile E. Coyote, who was being chased by Sonic, who ran into the window.

"WHOAA!" GhostKing jumped backwards in shock.

Sonic peeled himself off from the window and passed out. Meanwhile, Jet the Hawk flew by and stopped when he saw the birdfeeder.

"OH BOY!"

He shoved everything in the feeder in his mouth and zoomed off again. Meanwhile, the Roadrunner got p*ssed off and chased after him. When he zoomed off, the dust he kicked up created a black hole effect, opening a portal and dumping a time bomb in the middle of the neighborhood.

"WHAT THE F—" GhostKing started.

BOOOOM!

The neighborhood was obliterated…again.

Luckily Silver cast a psychic shield thingy over GhostKing's house, protecting everyone and everything in and around the place. Unfortunately, everything else was pretty much dead.

"Dang, didn't see that coming." GhostKing muttered.

"Me neither." Silver squeaked, grabbing her arm and refusing to let go on account of shock.

"No! I forbid you to go into shock again! Unhand me, you annoying being!" GhostKing shouted, but it was too late. Silver's knees gave out and he sat down heavily on the floor, dragging GhostKing with him. He started rocking back and fourth on his butt and sucking his thumb, all the while keeping a death grip on GhostKing's arm with his other hand.

GhostKing gave up trying to escape from him and sat there, looking bored and as p*ssed off as the Roadrunner.

That was about when Sonic woke up outside the window and smacked into the glass, knocking himself back out. Moron. GhostKing cursed herself for making that window so clear.

Ten minuets passed before a portal opened and Blaze stepped out, looking really confused as to why Silver was in shock and clinging to GhostKing like a lifeline.

"WTF Bomb." GhostKing said simply.

"Oh. Ok." Blaze said. She managed to pry Silver away from GhostKing, but then he wouldn't let go of Blaze's leg.

"How do we snap him out of shock?" GhostKing asked.

"Well…last time he was hit upside the head with a kumquat." Blaze said.

GhostKing hit Silver upside the head with a kumquat.

A random owl exploded.

"NOO! HEDWIG!" A random guy with a scar shaped like a lightning bolt screamed.

A random portal opened and Naruto flew through, closely followed by a flaming nine tailed fox.

"AAAOOAA IT BURNZZ!" Naruto screamed loudly. GhostKing opened a portal in front of him and he dived through along with the creepy flaming fox.

"DR. OCTAGONAPUS!" A creepy guy with red hair, sunglasses and an octopus body yelled, firen' a lazar. GhostKing's coffee maker blew up.

Even after all this…Silver didn't come out of shock.

"Well, crap. I thought for sure that that'd work." GhostKing muttered.

Meanwhile, Sonic woke up and looked around. After realizing he was in another CrackFic, he tried to run, but ended up running back into the window, knocking himself out again. The window shattered and skewered him. It was a good day.

Another portal opened and Sarah came out, looking extremely confused as to why the neighborhood was destroyed (Again), why GhostKing's coffee maker was destroyed, why Silver was in shock (again), and why Sonic was bleeding to death on the sidewalk. She walked over to Sonic and picked glass out of his nose.

"GhostKing! You'd better have a good explanation for this!" she said loudly.

In case you didn't know, Sarah was GhostKing's fellow writer and dear friend. The two of them were bizarre. They were sisters too, or something, although Sarah had red hair. It made no sense.

GhostKing poked her head out of the shattered window. "Oh, good. If someone didn't come soon and pick the glass out of his eyes, we might have been in trouble."

Sarah used Author Power to magically remove all shards of glass from the passed out hedgehog in front of her. Then she looked around. "What happened to the neighborhood?"

"WTF bomb," Blaze called.

"I knew it."

Then a creepy portal opened, and Weegee came through.

"YOU MUST DIE!" He screamed evilly. His eyes turned red and shot lazars, dramatically blowing up the most beautiful flower Sarah had ever seen.

GhostKing held up a mirror had Weegee's lazars rebounded at him, exploding his head off and leaking orange blood. It was unnerving.

"Why don't we get inside, where it's safer?" Blaze called.

** XxXxXxXx**

**Author Tip:** Don't ever let certain hyperactive, freakishly tall, bipolar authors and her FanFic characters play Zombies while drinking Mountain Dew.

"OMG GREEN BLOOD!" GhostKing shouted, her eyes crossing as she blew a zombie's head off.

"I GOT A GUN! I GOT A GUN! WHEEEE!" Sonic spun the screen around in circle, shooting everything _but_ the zombies. He got eaten.

"Oh, sorry, I can't revive you right now because I'm about to die." Silver said, knifing the crowd of ten zombies in front of him. A creepy voice came from the TV when something green and glowy popped up.

"_INSTA KILL!_!"

"ALL RIGHT!"

The once white/gray walls in the game were now bright red smeared with guts. It was nice. Sarah's character came up behind GhostKing's. "All right, I got your back." She said.

She got eaten.

"Thank you!" GhostKing ran off because she didn't have enough time to revive her friend and zombies were coming. Oh, and she had three bullets left.

Meanwhile Silver escaped the zombies and found the revive machine thing in the corner,

"WHEN YOU NEED A LITTLE REVIVE!" he sang annoyingly.

"Dude, you ruined the moment!" Sonic whacked him over the head with the X-box controller.

Silver passed out and Sonic took his remote, because he was still alive. The epic game continued. Blaze just sat in the corner and gave everyone a weird look.

"LEVEL THRITY NINE!" GhostKing gave an epic yell and bought a grenade launcher, throwing all the grenades at the oncoming swarm of fast zombies. Most of them died, but some kept crawling without legs. GhostKing whipped her knife out of her belt and knifed them to death. Well…they're already dead. So she knifed them to life? Wait…never mind. You know what I mean.

"I'M A LIVER!" GhostKing cheered as the zombies all lay dead in front of her. She had difficulty getting her character to climb over the dead bodies because there were so many.

Then came the dreaded _LEVEL FORTY_.

"All right, hand over the remote! I'll show you how it's done!" Shadow came out of nowhere and grabbed GhostKing's remote. With one shot of a lame pistol, he killed six zombies and wounded ten others.

"Give me that!" Mephiles came out of a random portal and grabbed Sonic's remote, at the same time shooting twenty zombies with a knife somehow.

Everyone sat there, their eyes glued to the screen, watching the pure epicness endure. It was intense.

** FORTY LEVELS LATER**…

"How the heck did you make it to level eighty with only using six pistol shots and two and a half AK-47 rounds?" Sarah wondered in awe.

"I'm the Ultimate Life Form." Shadow said simply, knifing another zombie to death with a pistol cartridge, going against the rules of the game.

GhostKing's eyes glazed over and she took a sip of Mountain Dew so she wouldn't have a sugar crash. Never before had she seen anyone this good at zombies, even herself. It was terrifying…

"_INSTA KILL!_" The TV shouted.

"Whoa, now that's scary. Mephiles got it." Sonic muttered.

There was an epic explosion. Most of the zombies were killed, save for a single arm that pulled itself across the floor. Shadow knifed it and it died…if arms can even die.

"What do you mean we need $23,987,356,274 to open this last door?" Mephiles screamed at the game. "I think the max amount of money you can have is $999,999,999!"

"Then it's a _CHEAT_! Come on, let's restore the power." Shadow's character walked epically out of the zombie infested room, killing zombies with pure epicness as he went.

Needless to say, the power was restored and their characters left unharmed.

"…Wow…" No one noticed, but Silver had woken up earlier in the epicness. He then went into shock because he had never seen anyone so good at zombies.

"Can I play? Together, we'll be unstoppable!" GhostKing cheered.

"Fine, but only because you're the Author and you'll cause unfortunate things to happen to us if we refuse." Mephiles handed her Sarah's remote, shooting her a death glare.

GhostKing just glared back.

**(INTERUPTION** FROM THE AUTHOR LAWS OF AUTHORS, BOOK 17 OUT OF 23:

_Just because you art thou Author does not make thee unstoppable. Thee Author Power may be revoked if thee Power is used unwisely_.**)**

"Don't worry, I never use my power for evil." GhostKing hissed. "But even if I did, the only bad thing I would ever do to you would be setting you on a bright, sunny beach somewhere."

"OH PLEASE NO!" Mephiles begged.

"I thought so." GhostKing sighed. "Don't worry, nothing bad will happen…yet." She added quietly and evilly to herself.

The game started….

** THREE HUNDRED EPIC LEVELS LATER…**

"That is just _insane_." Blaze said in awe. "How do you only use a knife and one bullet _each_ to get this far?"

"No clue, but I'm loving it!" GhostKing activated some more power. "Well, we could leave, or we could rack up points and set the most awesome record ever."

"I vote epic record." Both Shadow and Mephiles said at the same time.

"Great minds think alike." GhostKing went back to knifing zombies to death.

** LEVEL NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE**…

"HOLY CRAP!" Sarah shouted. "How do you manage this?"

"No clue." All three of the epic gamers said at the same time. That was when the wall collapsed and a whole army of Nazi zombies came through.

"LET EM' HAVE IT, BOYZ!" GhostKing shouted, unloading her pistol in fifty different zombies' heads.

They went nuts and fired everything. GhostKing was the first to go down when zombies overran her knife. Mephiles fell shortly after. Shadow was the lone survivor.

"GET EM' MAN! KNIFE EM! KNIFE EM' _HARDER_! YOU KNIFE LIKE A GIRL!" Sonic shouted, earning a very disapproving look from GhostKing.

"Er…I mean…you knife like me…" Sonic said quickly and awkwardly.

Soon the zombies were all dead. It was quiet. It was scary. It was like Stephen King's:_ The Shining_.

Then Shadow's character shouted and died. There was still one zombie left, and that one had just taken a bite out of his legs. GAME OVER.

"YOU'RE KIDDING ME!"

"So close!" GhostKing punched the wall.

"AAAAGH!" Mephiles started crying.

Luckily all the noise snapped Silver out of shock. "What happened?"

"NOTHING!" Everyone screamed sarcastically. "Only the most epic game of all time!"

"Oh." Silver went into shock again because he missed the epicness.

After that they stopped playing Zombies and tried to figure out what to do next.

"Why don't we read FanFiction?" Sarah suggested.

"Sounds good!" Silver snapped out of shock in a flash and booted up GhostKing's laptop. "Can I pick this time?"

"Fine, as long as it isn't twenty two chapters long, like GhostKing's FanFics." Sarah said.

"Hey, that was an epic story and you know it!" GhostKing growled.

Soon they were on FanFiction.

"Click that one. Sonic dies in it." Mephiles said.

"Ok." Silver clicked the FanFic and it opened.

Everyone began reading. It was a really well written FanFic; detail were perfect, characters were not out-of-character, and it involved cupcakes!

….at least until chapter two.

"_OH MY GAAAWWWDD_! IT BURNZZZ!" Sonic ran off to tear his eyes out.

GhostKing quickly exited the FanFic and shouted for order. "ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER!"

Everyone looked at her with terrified and pitiful expressions on their faces. Except Sonic. He was trying to scoop his eyes out with a melon baller.

"I want/need you to forget everything you just read," GhostKing said in a hypnotic voice. "and think of action/adventure stuff. Right now."

Everyone sort of went into a trance.

**(INTERUPTION **FROM THE AUTHOR LAWS OF MIND CONTROL, BOOK 9 OUT OF 23:

_Thou shalt not use mind control, unless you need thee important information from your Characters or you need thee to forget Yaoi._**)**

About ten minuets later everyone snapped out of it and went back to normal. Except GhostKing. She was scarred for life. Again. Oh, and Sonic. He dropped the melon baller and turned to a giant hammer.

"PUT THAT DOWN!" GhostKing grabbed the hammer's end before he could bring it down on his head.

"What happened? Why do I want to go skydiving? Why do my eyes hurt? What happened?" Sarah gave GhostKing a mad look.

"We accidentally read yaoi crap again." GhostKing's eyes watered up from the memory. "And it was _bad_…"

In the background, Sonic began ramming his head into the wall, screaming, "THE IMAGE! THE IMAGE! _AAAAGH_!"

"Oh…" Sarah paled. "one of these days, I swear…we're going to end yaoi."

"DID YOU HEAR THAT, FANFIC AUTHORS? JOIN THE LEAGE OF YAOI DESTROYERS!" Sonic screamed. "AND SAVE ME!"

_** SUMMARY**_: if you want to save Sonic, review this chapter/story.

GhostKing sighed and said, "I'll look in the Author Laws to see if I can do anything…" She went and did that.

Meanwhile a portal opened outside….


	2. Chapter 2

** CHAPTER 2**

"Do you want to join the League Of Super Evil Revenge Seekers?" Sarah asked Mephiles a bit later when everyone was sane and Sonic wasn't really dead (There's still time to save him!).

"Evil Revenge Seekers? I'm in…wait a second…" Mephiles hissed. "You do know that that spells L.O.S.E.R.S., right?"

"NOPE!" Sarah snorted.

"Sarah, no villain wants to join that league." Blaze said.

**(INTERUPTION** FROM THE AUTHOR LAWS OF VILLAINS, BOOK 20 OUT OF 23:

_Thou villains, if OC, may haveth any personality. If thou villain isn't yours, thou villain must beith at least a fraction of the evil they normally are_.**)**

There was a mighty crash in the kitchen and GhostKing ran in there to find Ash Ketchum sprawled on the floor, knocked out because he landed on the sink. His Pikachu sat there, with an expression on its face that clearly said, _SAVE ME! THAT GUY IS A MORON!_!

GhostKing sighed. "Why does this always happen?"

"Can I be a Pokémon?" Silver asked.

"No, SEGA invented you first, not NINTENDO."

Silver looked rejected until GhostKing gave him a cookie.

"I HAZ A COOKIE!" he ran off screaming.

That was about when another portal opened, sucking everyone alive in the house out and to a random stage in SA2.

GhostKing recognized the music immeadentally. "Radical Highway."

"Watch out for the lazar firing, pretty light glowing, and rather freaking robots!" Sarah shoved GhostKing out of the way as a ridiculously slow lazar was fired at her.

"DEATH TO ROBOT!" Silver screamed, blowing up the robot. A shiny, glowy thing fell out of it and settled in his hands. "It's so pretty….my precious…"

"Silver, unhand the glow stick!" Blaze hissed, but Silver took the glowy thing and smacked her over the head with it.

"MY PRECIOUS!"

"Ok, whatever! Come on, we have to get through this stage and save little cute animals along the way!" Blaze put a great amount of distance between her and Silver. "Where's Shadow?"

Everyone looked in the distance, where a small flare of fire was seen from his rocket boots as he ditched everyone.

"Well, crap." Mephiles hissed.

"We might as well get started." Sonic said, finally sane. He went to the edge of the huge bridge cable they were all on and practically flipped out.

"Don't tell me we're about a million feet in the air!" Sarah groaned.

From the bottom of the cables, on the road, a loud guy with a megaphone shouted, "HEY! YOU UP THERE! SURRENDER AND WE WON'T BOMB YOU!"

"I surrender!" Silver squeaked.

"BOMBS?" Sarah and GhostKing shouted at the same time before the cables exploded and caught fire. "AAGH!"

They jumped on the one intact wire and used their shoes as a sort of skateboard to grind down the wire. Sonic quickly followed, and then Mephiles. Blaze had to drag Silver by his ear.

Luckily, and somehow, they made it to the road unharmed. It was a miracle, or the awesomeness of the game. Probably both.

"NOW MOVE IT!" GhostKing shouted. "We need to follow Shadow!"

They came to a giant loop-de-loop in the middle of the highway.

"WHO THE H#LL CONSTRUCTED THIS PLACE?" Sarah screamed before they all hit a speed up thing and slid on their butts up and around the loop.

"Luckily our pants are indestructible because this is a CrackFic." GhostKing muttered as she managed to get to her feet.

They continued running…until Sarah found a cute little yellow leopard or something.

"MINE!" She picked up the leopard.

"Ok, then…jeez…"

They came to a little handle thing hanging in the middle of the highway. Mephiles grabbed it and was whisked upwards to the next level. Everyone had to take turns to make it there.

"Whew…now that that's over…" Blaze trailed off as she caught sight of Ash Ketchum coming at them with his evil Pikachu.

"PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU! LET'S GET MY BLUE SANDSLASH BACK!"

"I'm not a Pokémon!" Sonic wailed, running in circles to avoid getting hit by lightning bolts.

"LITTLE YELLOW LEOPARD WITH BIG 'OL ANEME EYES! I CHOOSE _YOU_!" Sarah flung her leopard in Ash's face, where it clung to his nose and refused to let go.

"AAAOOOAA IT BURNZZ! THE CUTENESS!"

While he was distracted, Mephiles kicked his Pikachu over the edge of the bottomless highway. Well, actually there were police cars down there and they arrested Pikachu.

"No, Pikachu! I'm coming for you!" Ash dived headfirst over the side after his beloved Pokémon.

"Dang," Mephiles muttered.

"After all that…and I still have my precious…" Silver's eye twitched.

Blaze knocked his shiny thing over the side too. The police arrested the inanimate object. Morons.

"NOOO!" Silver dived after it.

"Aw, crap!" GhostKing muttered. "Aw, well, anyway, this isn't real, so it's ok."

**(INTERUPTION** FROM THE AUTHOR LAWS OF FANTASY AND REALITY, BOOK 19 OUT OF 23:

_If thou can live in thee moment, it is Reality. If thou can't; it is Fantasy_.**)**

"Dang it, so that means we have to bail him out of jail." Blaze sighed as twenty officers dogpiled on Silver and Tazed him a lot.

"…Poor guy," Sarah cringed.

"Come on, might as well save him…" Mephiles jumped over the edge.

When everyone made it safely down, they turned to face the crowd of guards.

"Um…excuse me…you don't want to arrest him. He didn't do anything wrong. He did." GhostKing said, pointing to Sonic.

"_WHAT_?"

"GET HIM, MEN!"

The police guys let Silver go and dogpiled Sonic. Blaze let him out of the police car and they tried to sneak away.

"Hey, wait a second!" One of the guys shouted.

Everyone sort of hoped that they wouldn't get arrested. Some of them have already been through that in past lives.

"This isn't the guy we're looking for! Oh, great! Now there's two hedgehogs running around stealing things?" The police guy groaned. "Well…just to be safe, I have to arrest you all."

"OH, NO YOU_ DON'T_!" GhostKing said loudly. "Because if you do, my friend will come and Chaos Blast you to oblivion, and believe you me, that doesn't feel very good."

"You mean this guy?"

The crowd parted so a really skinny police man could come through, pulling a singed, half dead and Tazered Shadow behind him.

"Aw, crap."

"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?" Sarah demanded. "What did you do, drop a bomb on him?"  
>"Two, actually." The police guy said. Sarah facepalmed.<p>

"Yeah…um…nice meeting you. We have to go, I left a pie in the oven." GhostKing muttered.

Sonic, who was buried under ten tons of police men, somehow heard this and managed to escape. "PIE? I LIKE PIE!"

A random portal opened and everyone was dumped in the middle of a deserted place. It seemed like the entire place had not seen anything alive in forever.

"Weird…where are we?" Mephiles asked.

"A creepy deserted place." Sarah answered.

A loud, creepy, and all to familiar sound was heard. GhostKing whipped a machine gun from out of nowhere. "Prepare yourselves." She warned. "It's showtime!"

A zombie came stumbling out from behind a wall. She expertly sniped it so the bullet rebounded out of its shell back into the gun, to be later reused somehow.

"So that's how you only ended up using a few bullets in Black Ops!" Blaze said, looking like she understood things a lot better now.

"Actually, no. It's easier in real life." GhostKing said.

Another portal opened, dropping them all in an Evanescence concert.

"BRING ME TO LIFE!"

"OMG I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!" Sarah wailed. Another portal opened and Linkin Park came out.

"OMG I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!" GhostKing cheered, magically transforming into her emo rocker suit again.

Then another portal opened and Amy fell out and glanced around, her gaze finally settling on Sonic. "OMG I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"

And that sort of ruined the moment.

"Pink and blue _do_ make purple, after all…" Mephiles muttered.

Silver cast a very disturbed look at Blaze. "What?" She asked flatly.

"…nothing."

Amy fell through another portal into shark-infested waters. All the world's probablems were solved. Hurray.

Meanwhile there was another battle of the bands.

"GOD SAVE US EVERYONE WHEN WE BURN IN THE FIRES OF A THOUSAND SUNS!" Linkin Park and GhostKing sang epically.

"HOW CAN YOU SEE INTO MY EYES LIKE OPEN DOORS?" Evanescence and Sarah countered just as epically.

"FOR THE SINS OF OUR HAND, THE SINS OF OUR TONGUE, THE SINS OF OUR FATHERS, THE SINS OF OUR YOUNG!" Linkin Park and GhostKing made an epic comeback.

"LEADING YOU DOWN INTO MY CORE, WHERE I'VE BECOME SO NUMB….WITHOUT A SOUL! MY SPIRIT'S SLEEPING SOMEWHERE COLD!" Evanescence and Sarah epically rocked.

Linkin Park and GhostKing launched into an epic solo that was so loud it blew Silver away.

"UNTIL YOU FIND IT THERE AND LEAD IT BACK HOME!" Evanescence & Sarah continued.

The epicness was so loud it created a black hole and sucked both bands into it, leaving Sarah and GhostKing.

"Maaan, I was just getting warmed up!" GhostKing said, looking annoyed.

Shadow sat up and looked around, unsure of what really just happened. "I heard something that sounded like pure epicness."

"That would be GhostKing, playing in Linkin Park's band; and Sarah, singing with Evanescence." Blaze said.

"I wonder why they haven't recruited me yet?" GhostKing and Sarah wondered at the same time.

"Whatever. Come on, lets' go home." Mephiles said as another random portal opened.

**XxXxXxXx**

"OH MY SOCK! THE OVEN'S ON FIRE!" GhostKing screamed.

"Wait…did you really put a pie in the oven?" Sarah looked confused.

"I don't know! This is a CrackFic! It doesn't even make sense!" GhostKing grabbed a fire extinguisher and put the oven out.

"It's not supposed to make sense! That's the point of a CrackFic!" Sarah yelled, putting the fire out with her magic Author Power combined with GhostKing's fire extinguisher.

"Now," She added, "Who wants apple pie?" She asked, taking a perfectly cooked pie out of the oven.

"WHOA I LOVE AUTHOR POWERS!" practically everyone in the room shouted. Except Shadow, he was just too cool.

"Yeah they're cool…Whoopee." Shadow said, sounding ever so enthused.

"Congratulations, Shadow! You win the prize for being the most excited person in the room!" Sarah said, extremely sarcastically.

A Chaos Emerald randomly appeared.

"MINE!" Shadow lunged for it and fell out the broken window and into a never-ending pit. How'd it get there? Who knows…

"Oh, well. I didn't like him anyway." Sonic said.

A portal opened and a shark came through and ate him. Everyone cheered.

The shark turned into a butterfly and then the TARDIS appeared.

"WHOAAA!" Sarah and GhostKing cheered epically.

The Doctor stepped out from the TARDIS and looked around, confused. He shut the door to the thing and walked around. "Now where the heck am I?"

"NO CLUE!" GhostKing said loudly. "But boy, are we glad to see you! Someone actually sane!" Her eyes crossed.

Sonic stepped out of the TARDIS. Wait….wasn't he eaten? "Miss me?"

"NO! DIE!" Mephiles lasered him and he exploded into confetti and candy.

"HURRAY CANDY!" Everyone (Including the Doctor) cheered, eating candy.

Then Shadow walked out of the TARDIS. "Wow….that place in there is awesome…there's a pool and everything…"

"Yeah, it's really funny when the pool's in the library!" Sarah said, and she and the Doctor nearly died laughing.

"NERDY POOL PARTY ENGAGE!" Silver cheered, taking a pair of huge sunglasses out of nowhere.

Clothing wise? GhostKing showed up in a water-proof emo rocker suit, and Sarah showed up in a bright orange bikini.

"Wow, we really do NOT match, do we?" Sarah asked her friend.

"I'm colorblind. What do I care?" GhostKing said simply. "The sky is neon green with purple polka dots and yellow lines."

"No, they're red lines." Silver objected.

"YELLOW!"

"RED!"

"YELLOW!"

"I SAY THE SKY IS BLUE!" Sonic said. "LIKE ME! DA BA DEE DA BA DIII…."

Everyone gave him funny looks. But he ignored them. As usual. Because he's always weird…

"Who wants ice cream?" The Doctor asked, magically bringing ice cream into existence.

"I LOVE ICE CREAM!" everyone screamed. Except Shadow.

"I love cold, dark, isolated places in h#ll." He said.

Everyone began whipping phone books out of nowhere, trying to find a psychiatric hospital's phone number.

"On second thought…I only like ice cream as a friend…" Silver said out loud.

Everyone started looking for psychiatrists' phone numbers.

"I like trains." Mephiles said randomly.

"NO NO NO!" Everyone screamed, but it was too late.

A train came and entered the TARDIS' doors and never came out again. It unnerved everyone. It was like the TARDIS ate an inanimate object. Creepy.

Meanwhile…

"I found a good hospital place." Blaze whispered to Sarah. "Now we need to call them and tell them to set up a room with padded walls and a straightjacket so he can't kill himself."

"Ok. You call and I'll find money to pay them." Sarah said, making money appear out of nowhere.

"Ok." Blaze went off to find a phone.

"Why am I here?" The Doctor asked.

"I don't know, but it sure is fun!" GhostKing answered. "Now where's your pool?"

So the epic nerdy pool party was begun. Everyone except Sonic and Shadow had a good time. Shadow tried to drown Sonic and Blaze had to tie Shadow to a chair.

"WHAT THE HECK?"

"I dunno." GhostKing rolled her eyes.

Then a random flower exploded.

"WHAT THE HECK?"

"I dunno." GhostKing rolled her eyes.

Then GhostKing's epic sunglasses exploded.

"WHAT THE HECK?" She screamed.

"I dunno." The Doctor shrugged…and rolled his eyes.

Then all the water drained out from the pool.

"WHAT THE HECK?" Everyone screamed.

"I dunno." Said a voice from a different universe that sounded a lot like Zelda…

"Lots of strange things seem to be happening…" Sarah said. Then Zelda appeared and Silver vanished.

"See what I mean?"

That was about when ten guys in white coats showed up. "Hi, we're from the psychiatric hospital. We heard we got a call from this place?"

"Yeah." GhostKing said. "Here's the money."

"Who are you?" Shadow asked, sounding bored.

The white coat guys grabbed him and threw him in a random red convertible that was somehow in GhostKing's house. Then they piled in the car and zoomed off, leaving fire burning in their tire tracks like the Back to the Future thing.

"We'll visit!...maybe." Blaze said.

"What just happened?" Zelda asked.

"Nothing. You're in a different dimension…you might want to go back." GhostKing said.

"Right. See ya." Zelda jumped in a portal and vanished.

Silver popped into existence again. "AWWW WHY AM I BACK HERE? I FOUND CANDY MOUNTAIN, SARAH!"

"…" Sarah said.

"Anyway…." Blaze said loudly. "now what?"

"THE NERDY POOL PARTY IS STILL ACTIVATED!" GhostKing screamed.

The Doctor glanced at his wrist. "Um…sorry…I have to go. But don't worry, I'll visit occasionally."

"NOOO YOU'RE THE ONLY SANE PERSON HERE!" Sarah wailed.

The Doctor stepped in the TARDIS and in less than 3.348 seconds vanished. He was obviously creeped out.

** XxXxXxXx**

"Anyone know where Shadow went?" Silver asked.

"The guys from the psychiatric hospital came and got him." Blaze yawned.

"Oh yeah, that's right."

**(INTERUPTION **FROM The Author Laws of Plots and Places, book 4 out of 23:

_Thou must have a set plot and place(s) unless it is thee CrackFic of Doom. Places must appeal to the Readers and plots must go along with the place(s). Unless, of course, it is thee CrackFic of Doom_.**)**

"Ah, whatever!" Sarah screamed at the **INTERUPTION**.

The **INTERUPTION** gave her the finger.

GhostKing rolled her eyes. "Come on, people are probably gonna leave bad reviews. We better save Shadow."

So after Sarah and her changed from their epic pool party outfits back to their normal clothing, she opened a portal and everyone jumped through and landed in front of a nice white building with a bright green lawn that was neatly trimmed. There were birds singing. The sun was shining. It was beautiful.

"I hate this place." Mephiles growled. "it's got 'evil' written all over it."

"How is it evil?" Sonic asked. "Look! _Squirrels_!"

A squirrel came up to everyone and gave them a funny look. Then it barred its teeth and clamped down on Sonic's leg.

"AAAAGHAAA!"

"You're right, Mephiles, this place _is_ evil." Blaze backed up slowly as Sonic ran in circles, with the squirrel refusing to let go.

So while he was freaking out, they went inside the building. It was dark and scary and foreboding and evil, but without the squirrels and sunshine and happiness.

"OMG BATS!" Sarah freaked out as the soft fluttering of wings was heard.

"No, you morons! It's just me!" Rouge the Bat mumbled somewhere in the dark.

"OMG BATS!" Sarah continued to freak out.

Rouge sighed.

"What are you doing here?" GhostKing asked.

"I don't know. One second I was trying to steal money, and the next I was here. Care to explain?"

"Not really, no. All I know at the moment is that this is my CrackFic and you're now part of it." GhostKing said as Sarah continued to run around screaming, "OMG BATS!"

"Oh yeah, and we're trying to find Shadow. He was sort of kidnapped by psychiatric hospital peoples and they came here, or something." Silver piped up.

"…Riiiight." Rouge said slowly.

"Well, cheerio! Come on, then!" GhostKing said in some sort of English/Scottish/British accent thing.

So 'cheerio, come on then!' they did. Blaze lit up the hallway with fire so they could see.

Like that helped. The darkness tried to eat the light. It was creepy.

"OMG THE DARKNESS HAS _TEETH_!" Sarah screamed.

"Oh, be quiet!" Rouge hissed.

Everyone continued going on venturing down the cold, cruel dark hallway; trying to see if anything would jump out at them and eat them or anything. Whatever.

The hallway went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on—

"OK WE GET IT!" GhostKing screamed at what seemed like nothing.

"Who's there?" Silver squeaked.

"Ah…nothing…Author crap…" GhostKing mentally slapped herself for nearly breaking the Fourth Wall.

**(INTERUPTION** FROM The Author Laws of Other Stuff, book 21 out of 23:

_Thou shalt not dawdle in one scene forever. Thou shalt move thee story along smoothly, and have many great adventures. Thou shalt also stop screaming about Author Laws to what seems like nothing_**)**

"Aw, put a sock in it." GhostKing growled.

Even though the hallway was some sort of paradox, they somehow reached the end. There was a steel door with bulletproof glass, locked in thirty different places with some type of DNA scanner lock. Sarah stood on her tiptoes and looked through the glass. "GhostKing, we found Shadow, but I doubt Author Power can break through this."

GhostKing pushed her friend out of the way and glanced inside the cell thing. "Poor guy. He's eating the straightjacket."

Rouge pushed her out of the way and started laughing. "He looks demented."

"I would be too if I was locked in a padded room in a straightjacket." Blaze pushed her out of the way to look. "Come on, we've got to do something."

"Nah, this is cool." Sonic shoved her away and laughed hysterically at Shadow.

"Shut up!" Silver slapped him away and levitated himself up to the glass. "Hi, Shadow!"

Mephiles just sort of blended in with the darkness and acted all cool. Everyone ignored him.

"So how do we open the door?" Sarah asked.

"Well…" GhostKing whipped The Author Laws of Author Power, (book 23 out of 23) out of nowhere. "It says we can't use Author Power to duplicate any DNA. That's one of the universal laws, even Bestselling Authors can't use it. I probably could blast the door in, but I might hit Shadow. Sarah, Silver and I will have to use the Force or something together to break the door down."

"ALL RIGHT!" Silver cheered, turning cartwheels in midair.

"Ok, make the door implode." Sarah said, beginning to use her Author Power.

"Uh….ok…." GhostKing rolled her eyes but went along with it.

Soon the door was the size of a pebble but still as heavy as a steel door. It broke the floor and dropped forever. Everyone avoided the small hole in the floor like it would suck them in or something.

"Hi, Shadow! We're here to rescue you!" Sarah said all heroically. She then tripped over her own feet and fell flat on her face. "OW! STUPID SONOFACATNIP FLOOR!"

"SARAH! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!" Everyone shouted.

Sarah just laughed.

Meanwhile Shadow was chewing the collar of the straightjacket, with one eye twitching. He was in the corner, looking creepy. GhostKing made a riot shield appear and she carefully approached him. "Um…are you ok?"

"The world will fall." Shadow muttered. "it will fall and I will reign supreme."

"Um…"

"Bow down to me, puny human. I am your superior."

"YOU KNOW VERY WELL I AM NOT HUMAN, FAKER!" GhostKing screamed.

"Whatever. I am your superior."

"Stop that, it's creepy." Rouge said.

"No. I am your superior."

Everyone exchanged glances. "What did they _do_ to him?" Sonic asked worriedly.

"I don't know, but I like it." Mephiles said evilly. "Join me and we can rule the world together!"

Shadow started evilly hysterically laughing. It greatly unnerved everyone. They all took a step backwards. "I think I have a solution to this crisis." Sarah said slowly.

"What is it? I'll accept any ideas."

"We could-"

"THROW FISH!" Sonic finished.

"No." Sarah shot him a death glare. "I'm thinking we go back in time and get Maria again. It worked last time."

"Good plan. I'll go, you stay here and make sure he doesn't get loose and hurt everyone." GhostKing jumped through a portal.

"Sharp things…I like sharp things…" Shadow said. "Sharp things are fun."

"Whoa…that is very not creepy." Blaze muttered.

"I like the color red. On sharp things. That looks pretty…"

"HE'S TURNING EMO!" Silver rain in circles.

"What if we threw a kumquat at him? It always snapped Silver out of shock…it should snap Shadow out of insanity!" Sarah suggested, making a kumquat appear.

"READY….AIM….FIRE!" Sonic screamed.

Sarah hit Shadow upside the head with the kumquat.

"I see dead people." He muttered.

"Crap," Blaze facepalmed.

"No, it's just us." GhostKing said, coming up through the floor with Maria. "What did you do, throw a kumquat at him?"

"Actually, yes." Rouge sighed.

GhostKing snapped her fingers and the kumquat vanished. "All right, now Shadow sort of went crazy and we need you to help." She said, turning to Maria.

"I'll see what I can do." She carefully walked over to her crazy friend. "Um…Shadow? Can you hear me?"

"Can I have a knife?"

"No, you can _not_."

Everyone facepalmed and tried not to scream in frustration. This was getting nowhere.

"What if I do a Mind Meld, like on _STAR TREK_?" Sarah asked thoughtfully.

"Then you might go nuts." Silver said. "And if you went nuts, we'd all be in trouble."

"Is there anything in the Author Laws?" Mephiles asked.

"Probably." GhostKing whipped The Author Laws of Healing out of nowhere and began leafing through it.

"Shadow, listen to me. STOP BEING EMO AND GO BACK TO YOUR NORMAL, DARK, ANTISOCIAL SELF BEFORE I THROW YOU INTO A WALL!" Maria shouted very loudly, taking everyone by surprise, because she never yelled.

"…I like walls." Shadow said thoughtfully.

"Ah, here we go." GhostKing said. " 'If thou FanFiction character is not thee normal character, blah blah blah blah…you may Mind Meld.'"

"Sweet!" Sarah cheered.

"Just be careful, all right?" Rouge said.

Sarah knelt next to Shadow and practically grabbed his head. She went still for about ten seconds before jumping backwards, screaming, "OH MY GAH! VIOLENCE!"

"I like guns." Shadow said.

"All right, let's read from The Author Laws of Author Exceptions, book 22 out of 23." GhostKing whipped that book out of nowhere. " _'If thou art in an inescapable situation, thou may combine Power with another Author and use thou combined Power to return the situation to normal…or however normal it was in the beginning._'"

"Sounds good to me. Come on, GhostKing." Sarah struck an epic pose with a chainsaw she got out of nowhere.

"Sharp thing…" Shadow muttered, staring at the chainsaw.

"Put that away, you're giving him ideas." Maria mumbled.

Sarah put the chainsaw away somewhere and she and GhostKing faced each other. "Combine your Aura with mine and it should take care of itself." GhostKing said.

Sarah made a reddish orange ball of light appear in her hands while GhostKing's was a dark blue that was almost black. They combined the Auras and a white flash took place. The combined power flew at Shadow and imbedded itself in his head.

There was an epic explosion and then the power vanished, leaving Shadow looking extremely confused.

"…Are you all right?" Maria asked.

"MARIA!" He tried to hug her, but the straightjacket was still on. He bit his way out of it and threw himself at her.

"Aw, what a nice ending to this horrible CrackFic." Sonic started crying.

"Oh, shut up. It isn't over yet." Blaze smiled evilly.

"Breaking the Fourth Wall…" GhostKing and Sarah facepalmed.

** XxXxXxXx**


	3. GhostKing forgot the chapter number

** CHAPTER… WHATEVER, BECAUSE GHOSTKING CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT CHAPTER SHE WAS ON AND SHE'S LAZY, SO SHE WON'T GO BACK TO CHECK.**

** CHAPTER 327 AND A HALF**

"GhostKing! I hurt my leg soooo bad! I can't go anywhere now!" Sonic wailed. "I also have to throw up!"

"Faker," Shadow walked by.

"I AM NOT!"

"Just go through this portal and bring Sarah back. I tied this rope really tightly, so you can get back, all right? Now go!" GhostKing gripped the rope that was tied around Sonic's left leg tightly.

"Why me?"

"Because you're the fastest."

"Why?"

"I don't know/care, so get a move on!" GhostKing threw Sonic in the portal.

They were all back at GhostKing's house, in the un-blown up neighborhood somehow, but a random portal opened and Sarah fell through. GhostKing volunteered Sonic to go after her.

She held the rope tightly and waited a few seconds before Sonic tugged on it twice. She began hauling him up.

"WHY DID YOU COME AND DRAG ME AWAY FROM THAT PLACE? IT WAS EPIC!" Sarah wailed when she fell onto the hard floor. "Linkin Park…Nickelback… Bon Jovi!"

"OMG REALLY?" GhostKing tried to jump through the portal, but it closed.

Rouge, who was still in the CrackFic for some reason, decided to leave. So she did. No one really noticed.

"Well, I think this CrackFic is about over." Blaze said, looking at a clock.

"Already? Aw…." Silver muttered. "It was fun!"

"For you maybe…" Mephiles growled.

"Don't worry, this is the last CrackFic for a while." GhostKing promised. "The next ones might not even include you guys. I'm out of randomness for a while. I have some good ideas for some actually epic stories..."

"Which I'm not in, correct?" Mephiles gave her the evil eye.

"Well…one you are, but you're evil." GhostKing said.

"Good,"

"Well, you just said that this is about done, can I go home now?" Blaze asked.

"Sure." GhostKing opened a portal and Blaze hopped through. "Silver, you'd better go too."

"Bye, GhostKing!" He vanished.

"Send me back, send me back _please_!" Mephiles jumped after them.

"ME TOO!" Sonic wailed. GhostKing opened a portal and threw him through by his shoes.

"Come on, Shadow. You're needed in another FanFic by a different Author." GhostKing said.

"Can Maria come too?"

"…" GhostKing bit her lip. "…No. That would be screwing up Time and Space again, and besides—HEY!"

Shadow had dragged Maria through the portal and they both vanished right before the portal closed.

So now GhostKing…er…technically _Shadow_, screwed up Time and Space.

"Crap." GhostKing muttered.

"Oh, well." Sarah shrugged. "I'm gone. Bye."

She left too, leaving GhostKing.

"_Hasta la Vista, Readers_." She said before turning on a lonely game of zombies.

**XxXxXxXx**

**(INTERUPTION **FROM The Author Laws of Reviewing, book 16 out of 23:

_Thou shalt not Flame. Thou shall leave criticism, but not thee Flames. Flames are damaging to the soul_.**)**

** Hasta la Vista, Readers.**

_**Now for a bonus section on all 23 Author Laws books, in order:**_

** The Author Laws of Time and Space**

** The Author Laws of Edible Substances**

** The Author Laws of Magical Objects**

** The Author Laws of Plots and Places**

** The Author Laws of Out of Characterness**

** The Author Laws of The Fourth Wall**

** The Author Laws of Healing**

** The Author Laws of Objects**

** The Author Laws of Mind Control**

** The Author Laws of Yaoi**

** The Author Laws of Laws**

** The Author Laws of Swearing**

** The Author Laws of Changing History**

** The Author Laws of Crossing Species**

** The Author Laws of Ratings**

** The Author Laws of Reviewing**

**The Author Laws of Authors**

** The Author Laws of Alchemy**

** The Author Laws of Fantasy and Reality **

** The Author Laws of Villains**

** The Author Laws of Other Stuff**

** The Author Laws of Author Exceptions**

** The Author Laws of Author Power**


End file.
